Tag Archives: Personal Development

Repost: Releasing the Reigns – Changing Others

7 Jan

by Madisyn Taylor

sky

If your tendency is to try and change other people, take some time to explore why you feel the need to do so.

Our perception of humanity as a whole is, to a large extent, dualistic. We paint people with a broad brush—some are like us, sharing our opinions and our attitudes, while others are different. Our commitment to values we have chosen to embrace is often so strong that we are easily convinced that our way is the right way. We may find ourselves frustrated by those who view the world from an alternate vantage point and make use of unusual strategies when coping with life’s challenges. However ardently we believe that these people would be happier and more satisfied following our lead, we should resist the temptation to try to change them. Every human being has been blessed with a unique nature that cannot be altered by outside forces. We are who we are at any one point in our lives for a reason, and no one person can say for certain what another should be like.

The reasons we try to change one another are numerous. Since we have learned over time to flourish in the richness of lives we have built, we may come to believe that we are qualified to speak on behalf of the greater source. The sum total of our knowledge will never compare to what we do not know, however, and our understanding of others’ lives will forever be limited. The potential we see in the people who are a part of our lives will never be precisely the same as our own, so we do these individuals a disservice when we make assumptions about their intentions, preferences, and goals. Our power lies in our ability to accept others for all their quirks and differences and to let go of the need to control every element of our existence. We can love people for who they are, embracing their uniqueness, or we can love them as human beings from afar.

Your ability to influence people may grow more sophisticated because others sense that you respect their right to be themselves, but you will likely spend more time gazing inward, into the one person you can change: yourself. [DailyOm]

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The Ten Principles of Pain

4 Jan

“Look past the pain” — helps to know exactly what that is! The hell you’re going through right now? STOP focusing on the pain. That’s not important. What’s important to you NOW? Focus on THAT.

Repost: Happy New Year’s Day!

1 Jan

As posted on The Daily Love

By Melody Beattie

“Make New Year’s goals. Dig within, and discover what you would like to have happen in your life this year. This helps you do your part. It is an affirmation that you’re interested in fully living life in the year to come. 

Goals give us direction. They put a powerful force into play on a universal, conscious, and subconscious level. Goals give our life direction.
 
What would you like to have happen in your life this year? What would you like to do, to accomplish? What good would you like to attract into your life? What particular areas of growth would you like to have happen to you? What blocks, or character defects, would you like to have removed?
 
What would you like to attain? Little things and big things? Where would you like to go? What would you like to have happen in friendship and love? What would you like to have happen in your family life?
 
What problems would you like to see solved? What decisions would you like to make? What would you like to happen in your career?
 
Write it down. Take a piece of paper, a few hours of your time, and write it all down – as an affirmation of you, your life, and your ability to choose. Then let it go. 
 
The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals.”
Don’t have a few hours? Then dedicate 20 minutes. Do the exercise above. Jot down your answers quickly. (Don’t overthink — Do!) And when you’re done, let it go. Or go back and edit-add-delete-flourish-expand-do-whatever-organically-happens. Share with me in the comments. Or with someone you trust. You’re a work in progress. YOUR JOURNEY STARTS NOW.
29 Dec

The Better Man Project is Evan Sander’s passionate journey to becoming a better man, a better human being. In this entry, Evan reflects about his path to producing his first book. Totally dig his recitation of Mandy Pantinkin’s awe-inspiring words.

 

The Better Man Project ™

 

“I believe there’s a common ground in what all gifted writers write. It has to do with their wish to turn darkness into light.”

~ Mandy Patinkin – Entertainer

 

I am glad I picked I picked up the most recent issue of Esquire today…one of the magazines I eventually want to write for. I came across a fantastic section of interviews…and was fortunate enough to find the quote above. I don’t think there has ever been a quote by someone else that has most accurately described what I have been going through the past three or so years. What many people do not know is that there is a significant story that will be told in the launch of the book that hasn’t been seen here. Back then, it was the farthest thing from what is being viewed by many during these present days. Very very dark days…

View original post 303 more words

28 Dec

A different way to set and achieve goals. Acronyms definitely help me.

Old-school connectivity: Hello, are you listening?

26 Dec

I talked to my dad on Monday, Christmas Eve. He mentioned something that made me sit up straight and take notice. He said, “Looking at your phone affects your connectivity.” Think about it.

No, seriously. Think about it.

We are in a day and age when NOT looking at your phone is a skill. And a problem. I lost my cell last Wednesday. For 5 days, I didn’t have one.

And honestly? It felt pretty good.

Don’t get me wrong. In the beginning, I freaked out! Retraced my steps countless times. Called my husband, asking if he found it at home. For a couple days, we frantically searched the car, the parking lot, the 2-minute path from where my vanpool drops me off  and up the elevator and to my cubicle, the house, our driveway — everywhere!

Nada.

So for 120 hours, what did I do?

Told people to use Facebook, my work line, or email to reach me until I received a replacement. Kept my cell service on, so I could check voicemail messages (just in case).

Put all my energy into our first annual ugly sweater contest at the office. (A smashing success!)

Only surfed the Net at work or at home. NOT while in transit or during face-to-face conversations.

Enjoyed the longest conversations with my vanpool buddies. (During the 2.5-to-3-hour-long roundtrip commute, I usually scanned the top news stories of the day online. Or napped.)

Used an eraser board for my to-do list.

Wrote more in an old-half-filled-almost-forgotten-handmade journal a friend gave me several Christmases a go.

Posted on Facebook and talked with family and friends to research opinions on what new phone to buy.

Used my old point-and-shoot camera to capture holiday photos. Didn’t post them on FB.

Instead of texting confabs with friends who lived nearby, we met up.

Listen to favorite CDs while wrapping gifts and writing cards with zeal.

Mindfully pushed “Play” button daily so my toy musical snowmen sang their silly tune. (I squealed with laughter each time.)

Baked cornbread. Twice.

Caught up on “Color Splash”, “Person of Interest” and “The Voice”  episodes.

Perused a few magazines I had stacked high.

Snuggled more with my husband on the couch.

Looked at people more in the eye.

Somehow this “OMG-am-horribly-lost-don’t-know-what-I’d-do-because-I’d-die-if-I-lost-my-cell-phone!” mindset snuck up on me. For many months, I felt off. Perhaps I was affected by a number of things — work stress, long commute, financial/health concerns, etc. But I sensed an ever-present tension that I just couldn’t put a finger on, yet felt in my gut. It haunted me.

But this experience helped.

Being disconnected reconnected me. I became more present during conversations, my writing more genuine, my actions more sincere. It felt familiar: This is how I used to connect to others; and this is how I used to write as a teenager when it was just me, lined notebook paper, and a pen. I’m harkening back to the ’80s — a simpler time with far less distractions.

Am on the grid again with a new smartphone  (the same old model, btw). Am surfing and texting again — but less often. (Remember: That takes skill.) I can go back to my jump-at-every-alert-pre-cell-loss ways.

But why?

My brief interlude of no-cell-codependency shifted my focus from an expensive, handheld device tethered to my hip back to the way I used to do things. Nothing compares to scribbling in a journal, crossing out items on the eraser board, and taking my time to read a paper magazine in between my hands. I missed the tactile and visual sensations of doing different things with different tools. Until now.

Yes, it’s old school. But it’s me.

Repost: Habitual Anger

5 Oct

October 5, 2012
Habitual Anger
Unblocking the Ally

by Madisyn Taylor

Anger can easily become our go-to emotion;

to remedy, start noticing when and why you get angry.

Sometimes when we feel anger, it is coming from a deep place that demands acknowledgment and expression. At these times, it is important that we find healthy ways to honor our anger, remembering how dangerous it is to repress it. However, anger can also become a habit, our go-to emotion whenever things go wrong. Often this is because, for whatever reason, we feel more comfortable expressing anger than we do other emotions, like sadness. It can also be that getting angry gives us the impression that we’ve done something about our problem. In these cases, our habitual anger is inhibiting both our ability to express our other emotions and to take action in our lives.

If it’s true that anger is functioning this way in your life, the first thing you might want to try is to notice when you get angry. You might begin to see a pattern of some kind. For example, you could notice that it is always your first response or that it comes up a lot in one particular situation. If the pattern doesn’t become clear right away, you could try keeping a journal about when you get angry and see if you can find any underlying meaning. The good thing about keeping a journal is that you can explore your anger more deeply in it—from examining who in your family of origin expressed a lot of anger to how you feel when you encounter anger in others. This kind of awareness can be a formidable agent of transformation.

Anger can be a powerful ally, since it is filled with energy that we can harness and use to create change in the world. It is one of the most cathartic emotions, and it can also be a very effective cleanser of the emotional system. However, when it becomes a habit, it actually loses its power to transform and becomes an obstacle to growth. Identifying the role anger plays in your life and restoring it to its proper function can bring new energy and expansiveness to your emotional life. [From DailyOm]