America’s Most Desperate Landscape 2018

Hello, DIY/AMDL! 

We are Marvyn and Celeste Peralta. In March 2009, we met swing dancing at LindyGroove, the coolest swing dance venue in Pasadena, California. In September 2010, we got married. We both love outdoor concerts, artisanal food, and swing & salsa dancing.

Celeste is a communications assistant at UCLA. Marvyn is a pediatric echocardiographer. In other words, he takes pictures of baby hearts. During our marriage, we’ve experienced job losses, health issues, financial setbacks and ailing parents. We also rejoiced in a small greeting card business, travel adventures and musical endeavors.

For the past 7 years, we’ve been trying to have a baby. No luck. After much soul-searching, we recently decided to begin the process of adoption — a journey in itself! In addition to high costs, there are several applications and forms, formal interviews, workshops, setting up resumes & profiles, learning CPR — all before you’re even formally selected as adoptive parents. 

Another requirement for the adoption process is to have a home that is child-friendly. Our backyard is definitely not. As you’ll see in our video, there are so many things wrong: no shade, overgrown weeds, rocks, ditches and more. The yard is hazardous and not a space for a young child to play. 

We admit it — our backyard is our “dirty little secret.” See for yourself: https://youtu.be/iuOz1iQDqTY

Right now, the yard is not an oasis after my daily 120-mile work commute or a place to entertain friends and family. If you select us for the backyard makeover, it will be. We’d meet the requirement for a child-friendly backyard and home. Plus, we can finally have loved ones over and absolutely celebrate Marvyn’s 50th birthday next year — in swingin’ style!

Please help us make our 2018 dreams come true. 

Thank you for your consideration.

A confirmation upon receipt of this email is appreciated.

Sincerely,

Celeste & Marvyn Peralta

 

Repost: Real Simple review – Turntable Kitchen

Turntable Kitchen (Curated food and music pairings — I dig this concept!)

From “Real Simple” article:

“Wine isn’t the only thing that takes some effort to pair with your meal. What about the perfect mood music? The website Turntable Kitchen has been providing meal and music pairings for a while, but now they are offering a subscription service.

For those that subscribe, each month you’ll receive a box with the following things:

•  A limited edition 7-inch vinyl album with at least two songs
• A downloadable playlist with additional music
• A collection of themed, seasonal recipes to go along with the playlist
• A few hard-to-find, dry ingredients that go along with the recipes
• Notes on why the music and meal were paired together
• A few surprises, too!

Check out Turntable Kitchen and sign up for their Pairings Box here.

Wise Words of the Day

Been worried a lot lately. (Ugh.) Seeking higher source, like the Dalai Lama, to help me through these challenging-tossing-at-night-stomach-churning times:

“If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry.  If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying.  There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.”

In other words, worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its possibilities.

Reposted from Mark and Angel Hack Life’s “7 Things to Stop Worrying About”

Wise Words of the Day

What you resist, persists.

Worry is praying for what you don’t want to have happen.

If you’re not getting the answers you want, maybe you’re not asking the right questions.

Reframe the situation.

Repost: People will treat you how you TEACH them to treat you!

Today’s blog from The Daily Love hits home for me. Distractions and multitasking prevent me from focused creativity. Time to set those healthy boundaries — Stat!

January 14, 2013 By Mastin Kipp
As posted on The Daily Love

Since I have been so focused on creation lately, I’m really inspired about what it takes to create!

I do believe that it takes intense focus to create. Multi-tasking is not optional.

Now, I know you might not be able to take a whole month off like I am to write your book or create your heart’s desire. I wasn’t always able to do that either.

It was something I had to earn.

But when I was first getting started, I could find an hour, or half hour or a day on the weekend.

But – the key is – DON’T LET ANYTHING ELSE DISTRACT YOU.

Turn off your phone.

Get “SelfControl” for your Mac and turn off the internet.

Set up an email autoresponder so people know that you are not available by email.

Setup a voicemail message that lets people know you won’t be getting back to them right away.

Set boundaries.

I’ve really gotten clear in the last week (thanks a lot to YOUR help) that you GOTTA set healthy boundaries when you want to create. And then you have to enforce them.

People will treat you how you TEACH them to treat you!

So, if you are serious about creating something – a book, a screenplay, a business, anything – you gotta get clear about WHY you are doing it and then get about the business of making it happen.

This means boundary setting.

This means being able to do ONE thing at a time.

Doing one thing at a time is an underrated skill.

In this day and age we bow down to multi-tasking, but I’ve found that when I multi-task as I am trying to create, I get dumber.

I’m not as creative.

I’m not as open.

I’m not as tapped in to Source.

I’m thinking about too many things. I’m thinking about all kinds of other things besides what I’m trying to create.

The goal then is to focus our energy and attention on one task at a time.

It seems almost impossible in this day and age, but it is. But you have to design it.

You can’t just magically hope that it will happen. All of life is trying to get your attention. Loved ones. Advertisements. Social media. Email. Text.

It’s all grabbing at you. And you have the power to say ENOUGH – and design a boundary so that YOU can create.

This is what I’m doing – it’s taking some getting used to, but I can do it – and it’s working.

What boundary can you set today? How do you want people to teach people to treat you?

Repost: Releasing the Reigns – Changing Others

by Madisyn Taylor

If your tendency is to try and change other people, take some time to explore why you feel the need to do so.

Our perception of humanity as a whole is, to a large extent, dualistic. We paint people with a broad brush—some are like us, sharing our opinions and our attitudes, while others are different. Our commitment to values we have chosen to embrace is often so strong that we are easily convinced that our way is the right way. We may find ourselves frustrated by those who view the world from an alternate vantage point and make use of unusual strategies when coping with life’s challenges. However ardently we believe that these people would be happier and more satisfied following our lead, we should resist the temptation to try to change them. Every human being has been blessed with a unique nature that cannot be altered by outside forces. We are who we are at any one point in our lives for a reason, and no one person can say for certain what another should be like.

The reasons we try to change one another are numerous. Since we have learned over time to flourish in the richness of lives we have built, we may come to believe that we are qualified to speak on behalf of the greater source. The sum total of our knowledge will never compare to what we do not know, however, and our understanding of others’ lives will forever be limited. The potential we see in the people who are a part of our lives will never be precisely the same as our own, so we do these individuals a disservice when we make assumptions about their intentions, preferences, and goals. Our power lies in our ability to accept others for all their quirks and differences and to let go of the need to control every element of our existence. We can love people for who they are, embracing their uniqueness, or we can love them as human beings from afar.

Your ability to influence people may grow more sophisticated because others sense that you respect their right to be themselves, but you will likely spend more time gazing inward, into the one person you can change: yourself. [DailyOm]

Repost: Mom has son sign 18-point agreement for iPhone

From ABC News

A friend (a cool, hip mom) had shared this article on her FB page. The story is about a mom who gives her 13-year-old son exactly what he wanted for Christmas — an iPhone.

The article reminded me of my cell-phone journal entry last week. My takeaway thoughts after reading the proactive mom’s contract:

1) Why is this generation growing up with this inflated sense of entitlement and instant gratification? Because in this age of iParenting, good manners, hard work, responsibility and accountability are not being taught.

But this Massachusetts blogger mom does it right. Hands down.

2)  This is the reason why I’m cutting the cell-phone tether loose, baby. Adios, FOMO (fear of missing out) addiction. Not instantly inclined to text long conversations, read or post on FB daily, or share my pictures online anymore.

I want to “coexist with technology, not be ruled by it.”

Duh.

Repost: No more planning! Time for ACTION!

By Mastin Kipp

The best time to start — is now.

One of the coolest things I heard last year is that it’s best to get clarity through taking action.

I learned this from Marie Forleo.

The basic idea is that we don’t need to wait to “know” or “discover” or “find” the perfect plan. We just need to start.

And learn along the way.

Perfectionism is a dream killer, because it’s just fear disguised as trying to do your best. It just is.

The Daily Love is a giant experiment in starting before I was ready and getting clarity through action. When I first started, I had no real idea what TDL was going to become. I just knew I had to write every day.

And now that it’s growing even more, I still don’t know what it’ll be in 1,2 or 5 years, and I don’t know if I have the skill to actually pull it off, but that doesn’t stop me.

There is a magic that comes from simply starting. From just doing it. From deciding to take constant action. You don’t have to make some crazy quantum leap; all you have to do it just take a small step. One at a time.

And from there, it all starts to form in front of your eyes. The unseen becomes seen; a way is made from what seemed to be no way.

Too many people need some kind of certain outcome before they can start. This is what starts to slowly kill dreams, one fearful moment of stasis at a time.

The goal should be to get started and know that you will learn along the way and that you aren’t supposed to get it perfect the first time through.

Even if you think you’ve found the perfect plan, once you start to make it happen you will see that things don’t ever go the way that you plan them to.

The future is uncertain, but what will bring you one step closer to your dreams is action. Planning is important. But action is key.

Can you commit today to learning through action instead of needing the perfect plan to start?

What would that look like?

Repost: Out on a limb

By Seth Godin

This might not work.

I didn’t realize how tired I was until I started driving away from the Icarus launch event on Wednesday.

Since June, I’ve been working flat out on creating the four books that were part of the Kickstarter and the big launch that climaxed with an event here in New York. Along the way, I experienced what many people feel as they work on something new–I was  spending part of my time (against my better judgment) exhausting myself trying to predict and then control what people would think about my work.

Will they get it? Will this chapter hit home? Am I too far out on a limb?

This might not work.

At some level, “this might not work” is at the heart of all important projects, of everything new and worth doing. And it can paralyze us into inaction, into watering down our art and into failing to ship.

I do my best work when I practice what I write about, and this time, I decided it was important to go as far out on a limb as I could. The Icarus Deception argues that we’re playing it too safe, hence my need to go outside my (and your) comfort zone.

Changing the format, changing the way I interacted with some of my readers (using Kickstarter) and changing the timeframe of my work all combined to make this project the most complex one I’ve ever done. Lots of moving parts, of course, but more scary, lots of places to fail. All very self-referential in a series of books about failure and guts and flying closer to the sun, of course. That’s the entire point, right?

Of course, trying to control what other people think is a trap. At the same time that we can be thrilled by the possibility of flying without a net and of blazing a new trail, we have to avoid the temptation to become the audience, to will them into following us. Not only is it exhausting, it’s counterproductive. Sales (of concepts, of services, of goods) don’t get made because you’ve spent a sleepless night working on your telekenisis. They happen because you’ve made something worth buying, because you’ve outlined something worth believing in.

“This might not work” is either a curse, something that you labor under, or it’s a blessing, a chance to fly and do work you never thought possible.

As I slumped into my car, I turned on the radio. Stuck in the CD player, forgotten in the rush to get to the event, was the audio copy of Icarus.

(Download Audio Excerpt)

I don’t usually listen to my books after I’ve made them, but the recording sessions had been so arduous that I didn’t even remember making the recording. So there it was in my car, left behind as a quick refresher before I went onstage to give my first public talk about the book.

It turns out that I don’t just write for you. I also write to remind myself of what I’m hoping to become as well. Hearing myself, months later, reading something I didn’t remember writing or reading, I shed a few tears. Yes, this is work worth doing. Yes, being out on a limb is exactly where I want to be.

That’s where we’re needed… out on a limb.

The Ten Principles of Pain

“Look past the pain” — helps to know exactly what that is! The hell you’re going through right now? STOP focusing on the pain. That’s not important. What’s important to you NOW? Focus on THAT.

Leadership Freak

Pain persists till something changes. Pain increases the longer it’s tolerated.

Dentist visits weren’t on my list of things to do during my early college years. We couldn’t afford it. I still have a gap in the back of my mouth where I lost a cavity-filled tooth.

Once that tooth started aching, it didn’t stop. It grew worse till it became intolerable. I actually tried pulling it myself.

Toothaches don’t subside they get worse. The thing that’s hurting today will only hurt worse tomorrow if you don’t change something.

Change or:

1. Organizational stress worsens.
2. Interpersonal conflict escalates.
3. Internal struggle intensifies.

One pain:

The Emergency Medical Technician, before plunging a giant needle into my chest said, “This is going to hurt.” It didn’t!

I learned later, the sharpest pain is the only one you feel. The pain in my mangled hip masked everything else.

3 Challenge:

Look through pain. Biggest pain-points may not be biggest problems…

View original post 208 more words