November is drawing to a close. Less than a month left of the autumnal season…Where did 2011 go?!
Stroke of Insight
“I learned there are 2 kinds of people on the planet: People who bring you energy or people who take energy away.”
“I believe that the more time we spend choosing the deep inner-peace circuitry of our right brain, the more peace we project into the world, and the more peaceful our planet will be. And I thought that was an idea worth spreading.”
— Jill Bolte Taylor
I first discovered Dr. Taylor on TED earlier this year. On Dec. 10, 1996, this renowned neuroanatomist suffered a golf-sized hemorrage in her left-brain. She lost all her left-brain abilities — memories, speech, analyis, logic. Took her 8 years to fully recover.
She was on Oprah’s “Super Soul Sunday” yesterday. This compelled me to watch her Ted speak again. Her Ted speak was about her experience and insight. It still moves me to tears! She affirms my belief in people’s energies and reminding me what’s important in life.
Pop Rocks Haiku
By Celeste Peralta
Your gaze tickles like
Pop Rocks on my tongue
I take a handfulCrackling candy
A cherry-flavored playground
I cartwheel and skipYour knockout flavor
Explodes, sizzles in my mouth
Staining lips, tongue, teethDizzy from your punch
This oral amusement park
With bright lights and sweetsYou fizzle and melt
Edible firecracker
I like how you taste
(What do you think of this haiku? I’m compiling my favorite haiku and poems for a self-published collection. Aiming for early 2012.)
How Honest Leaders Destroy Their Influence
REPOST (original posting: Nov. 3, 2011)
By: Dan Rockwell
Here’s a simple business truism: No trust = no leadership. Leadership is influence and influence requires trust. Wise leaders focus more on trust-building and less on position because trust is leadership collateral. Losing leadership is easy because trust is earned slowly and lost quickly. You can always spot leaders who’ve lost trust; they lead by authority and coercion. Trust, on the other hand, excludes and eliminates coercion. You can coerce without trust but influence grows and expands on the foundation of trust.
Trust and Respect
Don’t think honesty is enough to build and maintain trust; honesty is only the beginning. It takes something much less than a lie to destroy trust and lose influence. People stop trusting you when you disrespect them even when you’re honest.
Don’t think honesty is enough to build and maintain trust; honesty is only the beginning. It takes something much less than a lie to destroy trust and lose influence. People stop trusting you when you disrespect them even when you’re honest.
Danger of Disrespect
When you lose trust by making people feel disrespected, people give themselves permission to question your character and motives. Not only do they judge your character, they feel justified, even compelled to “warn” others that you can’t be trusted. In this case, it’s their feelings that matter. Surprisingly, you can be honest and lose trust.
When you lose trust by making people feel disrespected, people give themselves permission to question your character and motives. Not only do they judge your character, they feel justified, even compelled to “warn” others that you can’t be trusted. In this case, it’s their feelings that matter. Surprisingly, you can be honest and lose trust.
Protecting trust
Honesty requires respectfulness in order to remain an effective trust builder that enhances your influence. People trust you when they feel respected by you.
Honesty requires respectfulness in order to remain an effective trust builder that enhances your influence. People trust you when they feel respected by you.
Respect is about the way others feel, not what you think. You may think you respect others but until they feel your respect it isn’t real. Respect focuses on you but resides in them. When they feel disrespected they are disrespected. Perception is reality.
Ten behaviors that make people feel disrespected:
1. Rushed exchanges. People in a hurry don’t have time for good manners. They let others know they don’t have time for them.
2. Unilateral decisions. Deciding for others before inviting participation arrogantly says you don’t matter.
3. Poor listening. When others feel you don’t understand them they are disrespected.
4. Rudeness. You can seem harsh even when you don’t feel harsh.
5. Unsolicited advice. Someone said, “Unsolicited advice is always perceived as criticism.”
6. Emphasizing past failures as a tool to motivate forward momentum.
7. Favoritism.
8. Cutting them off when they’re speaking.
9. Rescheduling appointments.
10. Looking at your computer or BlackBerry while they’re talking.
Ten ways to show people respect:
1. The opposites of the list above.
2. Invite feedback. Saying, “Tell me what you think,” is an act of strength and confidence not weakness that says you matter.
3. Gently, clearly tell it like it is, even in the face of disagreement. When you make people feel understood by listening they feel respected even when they disagree.
4. Appreciate skills and talents. Respect is felt when people feel you believe in their competency.
5. Give opportunities.
6. Admire contributions and accomplishments.
7. Acknowledge people publically. The positive impact of a good word spoken publicly lasts for weeks. In addition, it impacts the team, because you get more of what you publicly honor.
8. Use people’s titles, that is, Doctor, Director, or Senior Manager.
9. Acknowledge challenges and struggles. People feel your respect when they feel you understand their battles.
10. Hold phone calls and other communications while they’re speaking.
The challenging truth
Influence grows when your team trusts you. They trust you when you respect them.
And no trust = no leadership.
About the Author
Dan Rockwell is author of the blog Leadership Freak (http://leadershipfreak.wordpress.com). He is a social media and leadership consultant and the leader of a nonprofit organization in central Pennsylvania. Contact him at dan@leadershipfreak.com
Wise Words of the Day
“What’s special is that people were willing. That there was demand and that you were able to fill it with the supply. That people are willing in this moment to take a deeper look and be better. That is what is amazing.”
–Iyanla Vanzant on Oprah Lifeclass webcast
Wise Words of the Day
“The making of art is no different from prayer…Art is prayer.”
-Rainn Wilson
This statement definitely hits my core. OMG, that’s it — “Art is prayer!” I don’t watch “The Office” so Rainn’s statement on Super Soul Sunday made me run out to the bookstore the next day to explore his book and show/project, both titled, Soulpancake.
I didn’t purchase the book; only flipped through the pages. Somewhat overwhelming design-wise; may appeal more to the younger set. Nonetheless, groovy concept.
The show features the SoulPancake team hitting the streets, challenging everyday people to be creative, explore their souls and dig into life’s big questions. Questions like:
- What does your soul look like?
- Do you think the world is kind or unkind?
- What do you think happens when you die?
Watch actor and co-creator Rainn Wilson share a visual definition of what SoulPancake is: a creative way to chew on life’s big questions and figure out what it means to be human.
Wise Words of the Day
“Opinions are just people’s observations of you.
It’s up to you to give them meaning.”
–Guest on the Oprah show
I’m learning to not let other people’s unkind words affect me as much. I try to practice this when other’s people’s comments rub me the wrong way.
Jots & Thoughts 